I was never intimidated about much. I take that back. I was intimidated by math tests, especially the ones that had word problems. I would get so flustered in elementary and junior high that often a blank piece of paper got handed in. I would go into a flurry of anxious hyperbole when I saw those questions, and hated those problems about the trains going in two different directions. I conquered that fear by teaching children who have math problems, so they did not have to face the intimidation and anxiety I felt. It was a blessing to help some little anxious kid work through the intimidation and have that " I got it moment" Once those kids let go of that fear, they were fine with math.
Other than that, stuff didn't intimidate me. I have bungee jumped, rafted, in line skated to exhausting speeds, ran addiction groups in hard core prisons, played and sang my country music in different venues, gave speeches to other health care professionals...been out there. But something about a gym, always brought that " I have no idea what I am doing feeling" out in full force. I would look at those weights, instantly become defeated, insecure, and tired. I also had the unique experience of developing a headache every time I entered a gym
So hear is a bit of my experiences. The list is endless, but I will snippet this.
Holiday Health Spa- After college, I was a young school teacher who wanted to look good and feel vital , so naturally joining a gym was on target. The health craze, generation of me, pumped body was now just becoming a little main stream at that point,so I joined the spa. Men could come on Tues, Thurs and Sat, and the gym had only free weights.
I was a young 21, just coming out and confused about my own sexuality. Naturally, there was a screaming body builder queen who insisted on calling this confused Christian boy, sweetie. I would get all flustered. None of the straight body builders seem to mind him because they just laughed at him or with him, and I just blushed. And I also had no idea what to do with the weights, and the trainers were really membership hookers, so they were useless to me. I stayed there about a year, mostly out of guilt and a contract.
Actually over the years, I joined Holiday 3 times, stayed awhile and drifted away, never blaming the health spa, but recognizing my gym insecurity . After my workout at Holiday Spa Rt 40 I would have a protein shake, hamburger and fries at the cafe in the courtyard, Back then, diet did not seem to be a priority and we all know it starts in the kitchen.
Nautilus This was going to be it. Somewhere in the 70's, although my memory of the 70's is pretty dull, as most of my days were spent listening to Merle Haggard and smoking dope....Yea, I listened to the music at the time., but country music was my scene. Growing up in an upper middle class section of Baltimore, where debutante balls,lacrosse games, society gatherings and Hunt Club races were the norm for me my parents were amused by my love for hillbilly and folk music, although my mother always thought Judy Collins had a wonderful voice.
There was a song written by Bob Dylan called "The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll" about the senseless death of a maid at a dinner event, Hattie Carroll, but a drunken society guy names William Zanzinger. My parents forbid me to play that song around my grandfather because he was friends with the Zanzingers. I played it 24 hours a day, as I did the original Broadway HAIR album. My father was not amused!
Back on track. I thought Nautilus was going to save my life. It was a circuit training of 23 exercises and you went around the track once, and boom you became Dennis Newman, who was a big bodybuilder at the time. I knew I had a problem when they would not let go zip around the circuit
more than once. I asked them once. Is this how Dennis Newman got to be so awesome?They were probably happy I did not return.
The other thing was I was at a bar with a buddy, and one of the trainers ( salesman) at that Nautilus off Joppa Road called my buddy a faggot. I approached him, told him that his attitude did not fare well for the business and managed to get the asshole fired. This was years before gay liberation or before human right people were labeled "gay agenda"
Power House I got a 2 week free pass to this place, and it had great equipment, rock music playing,
people really pumping iron and massive "steroided "masterpieces. I went for one session and knew that I would not be returning.
Looking at myself standing next to these giants was humorous, but deflating. It did not take much to not return there. Those guys scared the shit out of me, but they did look good. :)
Gold's Gym Some years ago in Timonium, there was a Gold's gym, and loved the place. For some reason by now, a mere 30 year after Holiday House I was less intimidated by the gym, I actually did do Bill Phillips= Body for Life, and thought it was an excellent program. I actually felt like I could parade around the beach, but I stopped Body for Life in January and by June, I thought I was beginning to look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Bill Phillips and some others really got me motivated to get fit, but this gym became a germ infested Hell Hole, I stayed as long as I could, fearing I would walk out of there with MERSA or staph infection That gym closed and many of us traveled to other local gyms.
Merritt I was going to a Planet Fitness but it was bit too far, and then a Merritt opened just down the street from my house. It has saved my life, friendly staff, open 24 hours, good gym equipment, body builders who smile, people serious about working out and not socializing. I feel home. Thank you Merritt at Cranbrook, After 30 years of being gym intimidation I don't feel so nerdy, and I feel like I will have the body I want if I choose to do the work, and not fall into a victim mentality, which I am sad to say has been a part of this process.
Merritt, and my bodybuilder friends on Twitter, have given me permission to not try, just do it, and my journey of trying is over. I am going to do this thing, By this June, I will not be at my best, but I will be OK to show my stuff at Rehobeth" and be proud of who I am" , because I will not brand myself with lazy, weak or intimidated.
Next entry, personal trainers.....
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